99

A few days ago the Defense Department reported that 99 active duty soldiers committed suicide in 2006. It is the highest U.S. military suicide rate since record keeping began 26 years ago. Two other deaths from 2006 are still being investigated.

eyes wide open

it’s raining. i was outside pulling some weeds in our little garden we started at our new place and it started sprinkling. when it turned into a heavier rain i came inside.

last night i helped some other people set up an exhibit called “eyes wide open: the human cost of war.” it consists of a pair of combat boots for every soldier from Colorado killed in Iraq, as well as some shoes with the names of Iraqis killed in the war.

i wasn’t really thinking about it as i biked to the place where the exhibit was going to be. when i got there, the boots were in black plastic garbage bags and they came pouring out as someone dumped them onto the floor. the boots had slips of paper attached with the names of soldiers and their hometowns written on them. it was incredibly sad.

we lined them up in rows of two, with the civilian shoes and the military boots intermixed. i went back today, to see it. it was shocking and sad. all the shoes and boots were lined up on the floor and just stood there empty. i wrote down a few of the names. here they are:

Jeremy P. Tamburello, age 19; Denver, Colorado
Hasan Abod Taher Shed, age 26; Iraq
Barry Sanford Sr., age 46; Aurora, Colorado
Aadheam Ali, age 45; Iraq
Marwan Khalel Salman, age 17; Iraq
Mark E. Engel, age 21; Colorado
Mohammed Senge Mohammed. age 72; Iraq
Salma Sadwn Hashem Alasbae, age 49; Iraq
John Shaw Vaughan, age 23; Colorado
Evenor C. Herrera, age 22; Gypsum, Colorado
the mother of Said Adel Abed Qasim, age unknown; Iraq

cottonwoods, home, and friends

Well, I’m back home now. I feel like I have been in and out all summer and now I am here and my body is sore. I slept about 13 hours last night. And I am listening to some music that I haven’t listened to in a long time. I haven’t even listened to any music in quite awhile. It just sort of hasn’t been there.

I am feeling strongly this morning. I don’t know what it is. Just the feeling you get when you sense transition, maybe. I don’t know what it is that we are to do.

Sometime later I would like to write down a bit of the last couple of months. I haven’t taken the time to do so as summer unfolded. It might be a bit late to do so now but maybe it will feel good to try.

I slept a couple of hours early yesterday morning under cottonwoods in the rolling prairie outside of Buffalo, Wyoming. I woke up with the sun shining and the leaves of the cottonwood above me shaking in the morning wind. I was really happy.

I thought about all the friends I was able to see and spend time with this last weekend (all thanks to Michelle and Neal!). I am so happy that we are all friends and that time and distance, although real, does not stop that from being so. It makes me feel hope and comfort and happiness to think that people find others to share and spend their lives with and I smile to think that Neal and Michelle have each other. And that friendship and love are real.

Wow, do I sound dramatic or sentimental. That’s okay, though. I don’t want to be cool or jaded. I’m just sitting here drinking coffee while the muscles of my legs feel sore and the sun of the highway is still shining in my mind.

Thanks to all of the last week.