the darkness when we sleep

it is hitchhiking
and the woman and her two daughters stop
my leg is hurting and she notices
by the way i stand on the onramp
her young daughter, 16 or 17, is smoking and i
watch the smoke curl out of the crack of the window
smoke and this little shitty car that often breaks down
and she says “we know how it is, don’t we?”
and looks at her daughters
it hasn’t been easy for them
very little ever is
and the smoke is pulled through that space
between window and door
it’s dark outside
and i spend the night sleeping up high on a huge
cliff of stone and tall grass
somewhere above the great salt lake
in the darkness i feel so alive and so myself
this is why i do this
i feel so myself
in the morning i scrambled back down a steep embankment
crossed the railroad tracks
and walked through a small field
then along the road back to the
little collection of gas stations and street signs
eventually getting a ride on out of there
with a woman and man
the man had a jersey-like shirt with holes and he was
all about sexy music
and there was a cooler full of cans of cold beer
and we drank them as we drove towards a casino and
they told me about their lives
about meeting and this miniature trip they were taking
they offered me a shower in their room at the casino
i declined because i wanted to hit the onramp
i stayed there all fucking day under the sun
no one stopped and after awhile i walked down the
interstate thinking someone would stop
no one did and after a couple of miles
i walked back
it was almost dark
so i headed into town to fill up with water
i had already scoped out a place to sleep the night
just a bit out of town
but then on a whim i walked up to a tractor trailer
that was parked in the lot of the gas station where i was
going to fill up with water
i asked this short guy with a cowboy hat if
he’d consider giving me a ride if he was
headed west
long story short—he said yes and i had hundreds of miles
of listening to talk of god and vengeance
but i wanna get back to the rocks and the slopes out there above the salt flats
and walking in darkness with a pack
and crossing the cold tracks
and finding this perfect, beautiful space among boulders and grass and moss and the pleasant wind that blew through the night and reminded me of everything i had
ever been
in the morning the sun broke above the horizon and i sat on the edge of the cliff
on a big rock whose surface was rough beneath my fingers
there were low, long clouds pulled out across the horizon and the sun
came up in these
and i knew who i was
and the earth was beautiful
eventually i left and i always
like to look at the ground where i slept
the pressed down grasses starting to reach back up
small rocks, the dirt
and every morning a place where i begin

-f

ever

When we first awoke
Light shining through a window
We said slowly to ourselves
Is this the morning that we finally become what
It is we are trying to be?

Wanda Grigorovich

sat on a hillside

first of all--i just ate a carrot from our garden and it changed my perception of existence.

i wrote a rambly response to whoever commented on the last post and i'll post it soon. but right now i'm just writing this quick. i found a bunch of records in the dumpster behind a music store this afternoon. i'm listening to stairway to heaven. i just listened to going to california. i love that song! i haven't listened to this album since i was in college. i used to listen to a cd of it but that disappeared when i lived in that basement apartment with blake and christ. remember that shit?

it's windy as hell here today. leaves all over the place. i was almost blown into traffic while biking earlier. it's howling and it's sunny and warm. fucked up this time of year. it's the middle of november, after all.

the record is over. i'm gonna go flip it.

okay. so i didn't flip it. i put on taj mahal, de ole folks at home, instead. it's another one i found today. right now it's beautiful.

i also found a couple of aluminum doors. one today, the other last week, i think. and a big heavy aluminum pot. it looks like aluminum scraping is in my future.

life's pretty big and we try to push it down into this little kernel that we can tell others about in one or two sentences. do you see what i mean? and pretty soon it's winter and the snows are blowing and it's cold and the fucking record skips.

but it's not always that way. sometimes you read a short story that speaks right at you. you can't even get out of the way and there's no mistaking it. sometimes conversations make sense and mean something and you're eating food with people who become friends.

staggerlee
i don't want all your fucking money or your big goddamn hat

just give me a body that works and the sun and wind and snow and give me someone i can know

Congratulations—you voted! You’ve taken part in an important American tradition that upholds what America really stands for. Let’s take a few minutes to look at what this great nation is all about and how you’ve helped keep our sacred values alive and strong.

Election time is when we unite together as Americans, recognizing that when it comes to participating in elections, we have much in common with each other. After all, both parties and their candidates work to maintain the same system. Regardless of which party you voted for, you’ve voted to support:

War and Occupation!

Whether Iraq or Afghanistan, war will continue under either candidate. McCain will maintain the occupation of Iraq, while Obama will widen the occupation of Afghanistan. Either route will ensure more murder and more atrocities in the name of “freedom.” And, of course, there are always new invasions and new occupations on the horizon!

Imperialism!

Both McCain and Obama, and the parties they represent, will do all they can to make sure that America continues to seek dominance in every area of the globe. Depending on the specifics of a given situation, imperialism will come in the form of violence, military aggression, economic force, and political influence to ensure that America stays on top. And if these don’t work, our elected officials can always employ the tried and true American tradition of using the CIA to overthrow democratically elected administrations that refuse to serve as foreign puppets for U.S. imperialism.

Domestic Surveillance!

Both candidates for the presidency voted to implement the FISA
Amendment Act of 2008, which grants the federal government increased power to spy domestically without warrants. It also gives retroactive impunity to communication corporations that assisted in illegal domestic surveillance during the Bush administration. And, hey, who can blame them? The more we are encouraged through surveillance to self-police ourselves, the more free time police have to put down dissent!

Capitalism!

Have no fear—both candidates will pursue the U.S.’s quest for the expansion of predatory global capitalism and free trade. With either administration, the U.S. will work to ensure that corporations continue to reap huge profits from the labor and resources of others. Of course, it is easier to exploit the oppressed, so much attention will be given to destabilizing and taking advantage of third world economies and populations under the thumb of U.S. backed regimes, using sweatshops, paramilitaries, the institutions of global capitalism (like the International Monetary Fund and the World Bank), and other means of control to further dominance.

Here at home, our lives will continue to become increasingly isolated. Authentic communities are a threat to capitalism and therefore an unfair obstacle to profit. As true community continues to disappear, capitalism will lead the honorable fight to commodify everything around us. In the meantime, let’s keep consuming in an effort to create meaning in our empty lives. It doesn’t hurt to watch a little television when we come home exhausted from work. But don’t forget to vote!

Corporate Power!

And, remember, it’s not just any capitalism but corporate capitalism that these candidates support. Both McCain and Obama voted for the $700 billion bailout. The merger of state and corporate power isn’t socialism, as some suggest—it’s fascism.

And have you ever looked at who funds these candidates’ campaigns? Would it surprise you to learn that the weapons manufacturing industry has given more money to the Democratic than the Republican campaign this election cycle? Lockheed Martin, Northrop Grumman, and other war profiteers are just making sure that their missiles will sell regardless of which figurehead sits at the top of this corporate, imperialist machine. Likewise, major investment banks and financial corporations—like Goldman Sachs, Citigroup, JPMorgan Chase & Co, and Morgan Stanley—heavily fund both parties, guaranteeing their corporate interests are covered whether a Democrat or Republican becomes president.

The Occupation of Palestine!

Both parties and both candidates are committed to maintaining the occupation of Palestine. 60 years is apparently not enough. As Israel continues to expand illegal settlements in the West Bank and uses the construction of the separation wall to annex more and more Palestinian land, both Obama and McCain provide unequivocal support of the occupation and the U.S.’s financial and political role in its continuation.

Militarization of the Border and Criminalization of Immigrants!

While the candidates may vocalize a moderately different approach to immigration, immigrants will continue to be criminalized, families separated, and people imprisoned and deported. ICE will continue its workplace and house raids, terrorizing people based on ethnic background and the spelling of their last name. All the while, either candidate will make sure the border becomes increasingly militarized. Creating a whole population of scapegoats to terrorize, imprison, and dehumanize is one way for a fascist state to cement power.

Thanks for voting and remember—by dutifully playing our role in maintaining the system as it is, we can change the world!

brought to you by volunteers of the CWF (Capitalism and War Forever)

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Instead of relying on representatives to make decisions which affect us and our communities, we can organize locally, in the real sense of grassroots democracy (not the co-opted term that the Democratic Party is using as propaganda), to address our own needs and desires. Direct action and mutual aid are two tools that we can use to do this.

Direct action means solving problems ourselves—without asking, begging, or petitioning authority. It’s working without representation, actively achieving our own goals through our own actions. Mutual aid is a way of existing with each other, of relating to each other, which focuses on voluntary aid and cooperation that is mutually beneficial to all involved. This becomes possible when we create communities that are truly communities, in which actions that are good for your neighbor are good for you. This kind of interconnected and interdependent community depends on us transforming the ways in which we relate to ourselves, each other, and the world in which we find ourselves.

Now the mornings are bright so much earlier.