dark clouds and the wind blowing

I am in a small library in the town of Craig in northwest Colorado. I remember sitting at this row of computers writing a post for this blog two winters ago. I just went back and looked up the post--it was from November 1, 2005. And here I am again. This time, though, it's a different hotel.

For some reason, it usually takes me a little while to get adjusted to living in a hotel. It usually begins with getting depressed. I don't know why it works that way for me but it almost always seems to happen. And I get to feeling like I don't know myself.

I am past that part now, I think. And there are many aspects of staying in hotels that I do enjoy. Like reading and sometimes writing and drinking coffee and sometimes beer.

Once I get past the crappy part, I usually have a pretty good time. I definitely enjoy the time that I get to myself in the evenings and even in the morning if I get up early enough.

This time around, I feel a bit further away from the job part of it. I feel kind of like I am far away from some of these things. Worldviews are different even in a setting that I once felt a little closer to.

And so here I am typing this and wondering about things. And getting kind of sad because of certain conversations and, of course, the 'news'. When I am walking around and there is all this dirt and hills and sage, I'll see something small and momentary (or maybe almost the opposite of momentary) and it makes me very happy inside and I even smile without quite meaning to.